I’m awful at saying no to people, and er food – yes it does talk to me. I’ll agree to anything even if it will leave me feeling exhausted or anxious. The same goes for food, I can be full and feeling all healthy and then I spot a cake and instead of just eating a little slice, I’ll scoff the lot. What the hell, it’s only cake – it’s not a big deal. Same with plans – you can’t do everything so just say no and move on. I have serious arguments with myself over my inability to say no.
A lovely friend of mine had noticed this trait and gave me a little exercise to do. She said, “imagine a colleague asks to lift share with you but there’s no way that it could work. I’m that person, now tell me no”… Okay weirdo, I can do that…
“Er, I’m really sorry I won’t be able to do that because I think you live in the other direction to me and it’s not on my way to work. If I picked you up then drove to work I’d have leave really early, and er I could leave really early I guess but er” I couldn’t actually say no! I was so embarrassed, even in a silly conversation while drinking a lot of red wine (hell yeah I was out at the time), I couldn’t say no!
However, I really need to sort it out. On a few occasions I’ve felt like such a bad mum as a result of not being able to say no, because it’s meant my daughter’s routine had been completely messed up because I’m trying to do everything and please everyone – she was completely shattered (as was I). Other examples have been over unexpected foodie occasions when I’ve planned to catch up with someone thinking we’ll have have drinks and it’s turned into a real food fest. (I’m not anti food fests when the time is right, but sometimes i’m in the zone, I’ve eaten a healthy meal and I just want to sit with a beverage and save my Weight Watchers SmartPoints for a big dinner with pudding in the evening – it’s all about priorities!) Long story short, I’ll eat too and I’ll always end up eating way more than the other person once I get started. I’ll then return home feeling annoyed with myself and just pants.
So, I will try to say no more without being rude, ending up a complete bore, or leaving my daughter completely worn out by traipsing her around everywhere. If you’re like me, join me in my challenge to say no! It doesn’t make you a bad person, other people say no and I think we’re going to feel a lot better for it!
P.S.
I would like to confirm that I do enjoy food out – please don’t stop inviting me out for breakfast, lunch or dinner!
