My weight loss journey

Tag: Binge eating

08
Oct
2018

My weight loss journey

I used to find the phrase ‘weight loss journey’ really bizarre and a little bit silly, until I realised that changing your eating and exercise habits for good really does take you on a journey of discovery. It was seven years ago that I decided to start my own weight loss journey and today I’d like to share with you what 2018 has contributed to my weight loss experiences. Warning: This post contains verbal diarrhoea.

Pre-2018
In case you’ve not read my blog before (or you’re not one of my family and friends… hi Michelle), let me share with you why I wanted to lose weight.

I’ve always felt like the ‘fat’ one and over the years my ‘obese’ (according to the NHS BMI charts) weight levels started to get me down. I would cry a lot about my body image and I would feel guilty eating (be it healthy or not). So, I joined Weight Watchers (now called WW) after many years of yo yo dieting. It was the first slimming group I’ve ever been too and the only time I successfully lost weight week after week. Not just that, but it encouraged me to exercise and learn how to cook healthily from scratch. (This is not a WW advert but the way, just what happened to me). A little while after I joined WW I got engaged and my motivation to get to my ‘goal weight’ went through the roof. Fast forward two years, I lost 50lbs, got to my goal weight, dropped 5 sizes and felt amazing.

Then I went on honeymoon and gained a lot of weight in just two weeks – almost a stone if memory serves me right. I was disappointed and disgusted with myself. In hindsight I still looked slim and could fit into my smaller dress size, but I wasn’t happy. Months went by and I maintained the new higher weight and came to terms with it. I then fell pregnant with my first child and gained five stone.

Having a baby and that extra weight completely threw me. Not only was I learning how to be a mum, but those old feelings of hating the body I was in came rushing back with great force. I’m very aware as I write this that way worse things could happen. I just had a precious baby (and my daughter is everything), but my body felt so alien and simply disgusting. Which is really harsh considering it (my body) just grew a human being and managed to push it out of another one!

A negative start to the year
It’s been three years since then and I did reach my ‘goal weight’ once more, but that was in 2017; and so my 2018 started in a less than positive way. I was heavier than I was in 2017 and feeling incredible down about that fact. In hindsight, (again) it really was only a few pounds but because I beat myself about it so much, I ended up comfort/overeating and the weight crept up towards the end of 2017.

In 2017 I had also run 10k in under hour in a fun run, and whilst I’m incredibly proud of that I hadn’t realised just how much of my year had been focused on training for the run. Without a major event to work towards, and with the change in weather, I was lacking enthusiasm to get out and work out.

Body positivity
I started reading more about body positivity and felt that I needed to change my mindset in 2018. It wasn’t healthy for me to be so transfixed on a number on the scales and having that fun run to work towards made me realise that it’s the getting fit and healthy that really inspires me. If I aim for that, then any excess weight (fat) will in turn come off. I absolutely loved reading Megan Jaynee Crabbe’s Body Positive Power and it had a way bigger impact on me than I could ever imagined. I would hugely recommend this book if you are constantly beating yourself about your body.

New learnings
My thinking started to change and I decided that I wanted to learn the facts about good nutrition and exercising healthily. This is something that, in my view, WW has always encouraged but I wanted to further my understanding and seek out more sources of information – which I’ve been doing and I have enjoyed. I’ve also seeked advice from Personal Trainers and have learnt a lot about the importance of resistance training, and protein – to name just a few things.

Wrap it up
In a nutshell, I’ve been re-educating myself this year and working hard to question my attitude towards food, exercise and body image. It’s been challenging in places but I feel like (without being super cringey) I’ve grown a lot and have made some good progress in cementing healthy habits and a healthier outlook.

Give me the facts, how much do you weigh?
I’m not going to tell you that, although I’ve had some fun featuring in various WW articles and you will probably find the answer if you Google it! I will say that I’m 12lbs away from my ‘goal weight’ and feeling a lot slimmer and toned than I did at the start of the year (despite weighing a little more). I’m also feeling less bothered by that number on the scales and have enjoyed working on my muscles! Yeah I said it, if you happen to be in my house after I’ve been to the gym it’s common to see me flexing my new muscles to anyone willing to inspect them – normally my 3-year-old.

Binge eating
Plus, one of the biggest changes and something I’m most proud off is the decrease in binge eating episodes, which used to be a common occurrence. It was usually set off by bad news or having an indulgent weekend and then feeling guilty about it come Monday. Instead, I’m enjoying those occasions where I may eat and drink a little more but not letting then send me into a downward spiral of unhealthy habits.

The end
So, good luck to you all if you are trying to improve your health (be it physical or mental) and if you managed to read the majority of this post, then well done to you because I really did go on a bit!

Chloe xx

10
Nov
2016

My battle with binge eating

Categories: Baby & Me

I often joke about my obsession food and my ability to eat a ridiculous amount in one sitting. However, from time to time it really isn’t a laughing matter. I’d like to share my experience and for anyone who may be able to relate to this, I’d like to offer a few tips that can help break the binge eating cycle – although I don’t have all the answers and I’m still learning to adopt these new habits myself.

Warning: This post isn’t the most uplifting but I’ll try to end on a high and write something a little more fun next time! No offence taken if you skip this one. In fact, I kind of want you to! There’s no filter here, this is a full on confession…

I’d like to cover this topic as a way for me to try and understand why I binge eat and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this; and when I talk about binge eating, I mean to the point of feeling sick and in tears. (Wow that was really hard to admit and to see written).

My experience
Various circumstances can kick start a binge eating episode. Boredom sometimes, but I think the biggest catalyst for me is feeling upset, anxious or annoyed with myself. I like a plan too, and if a plan doesn’t go the way I hoped I tend to hit the kitchen and eat for hours (literally).

Over the years I’ve learnt to not have anything too unhealthy in the house in case I do eat to excess, but I can generally find some kind of sweet food to over indulged on. If that isn’t enough, I can make random meals out of anything I can find and I’ll usually have multiples of any item or dish. I’ve disgusted myself when I’ve noticed the time and realised I’ve not stopped eating for over 2-3 hours, probably longer on a few occasions. Once I stop eating I never feel better for it, so I’m not sure why I do it. I’ll often cry or get angry afterwards, and I’ll always feel sick. When I was younger my overeating would lead to being sick on a few occasions but thankfully that is in the very distant past.

Reading this makes me feel terribly guilty for people around the world who struggle to even get enough food to eat, and here I am wolfing it down because I feel down. Plus, I’m a mum now and I would hate for my daughter to think of me in this way or to ever have this kind of relationship with food. (This is all so horrible to admit. Should I really post this?)

4 tips to break the binge eat cycle
There are a few tips I’ve picked up over the years to break that cycle of overeating and to try and combat why I’m eating in this way. Some of these tips can help during the moment and others need to be looked at once you’re out of that binge eating spell – I think that will make sense to anyone who has experienced something similar.

1. Stock your kitchen with healthy food
This is a practical one but it can help. If you surround yourself with healthy food, you’d hopefully feel full quicker than you would overeating on junk food (and therefore stop quicker); and you’ll be limiting the amount of weight you could put on from overeating. Even if you have some small treats lying around, hopefully what you may consume won’t be too bad in the grand scheme of things.

2. Ask yourself why you’re binge eating
Eating to the point of feeling sick isn’t going to make you feel happy. Instead, challenge yourself to confront whatever it is you’re really feeling. Write it down, confide in a friend – whatever your method try and ask yourself this in the moment. Move to a different room (away from the kitchen!) and work on what would change how you feel or how you could solve a problem in front of you. Talking to someone is great; going for a walk can clear your head; pamper yourself in some way to cheer yourself up can be fun; arrange something to do if you’re bored; or find a show you like on TV… just give yourself a few minutes to really think everything through.

3. Don’t restrict your diet – eat if you’re actually hungry and focus on being healthy
If you’re trying to lose weight, this one can be a bit tricky to master. My advice here is to not restrict your diet – even treats. Enjoy everything in moderation, focus on eating healthy foods and eat your favourite foods. The times I’ve said I’m only eating X amount of calories, or I’m going to skip a meal to try and lose weight, are the times that have often led to eating far too much because I’ve basically gorged on foods I told myself I can’t have. This leads to my next tip…

4. No one is perfect, don’t try to be
In the past when I’ve followed a diet, I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to be absolutely perfect at it. I’ll usually succeed for a good few days and then I break; I break bad – very bad! Recently I’ve realised that if I’m ‘good’ 80% of the time (eating healthily and exercising) and a little off track the other 20% of the time is not a big deal; and chances are when I look at the complete picture, I’ve still made a lot of healthy choices.

There you have it, the hardest post I’ve written to date. If you did make it to the end, thank you for reading. If you can identify with anything I mentioned I would love to hear from you. Plus, any tips or insight on the matter are very welcome.

31
Aug
2016

Why does a broken routine lead to binge eating?

Categories: Weight Loss, Weight Watchers

I’ve spent the last few weeks visiting family and celebrating some special occasions with friends. It’s been such a lovely time but in the back of my mind I’m constantly beating myself up over not being able to stay in control of my eating when I’m away.

It means so much to me to to lose the excess weight I’m carrying, yet the sight of cake, ice cream, home cooked pies and prosecco makes me forget all of that instantly!

Breaking bad
I have a habit of either being really ‘good’ when it comes to my diet or ‘really bad’. I try to plan treats into my day, but if I go off course I tend to think – “Oh i’ve ruined it now, so I might as well go crazy and eat everything in sight!”. If I just stopped after a few squares of chocolate for example, it really wouldn’t be the end of the world – or the end of my diet – but do I do that? On this occasion the answer is a big no! I eventually got back on track and had two healthy days before my Weight Watchers weigh-in and I exercised on both days. Amazingly I lost 1lb!

With the new Weight Watchers plan there’s a lot of literature on positive thinking. My personal favourite is the 80/20 rule – the idea being that you make healthy choices for 80% of the time – after all no one is perfect! In hindsight I think this is something I obviously need to remember a little more often, and not let one slip up lead to binge eating on foods that could sabotage my weight loss efforts.

My goal for the next few weeks is to be a little kinder to myself, allow for treats in moderation; and have a go at saying no when I’m offered a tempting and high-calorie food that I know will just leave me feeling gross and too full.