I used to find the phrase ‘weight loss journey’ really bizarre and a little bit silly, until I realised that changing your eating and exercise habits for good really does take you on a journey of discovery. It was seven years ago that I decided to start my own weight loss journey and today I’d like to share with you what 2018 has contributed to my weight loss experiences. Warning: This post contains verbal diarrhoea.
Pre-2018
In case you’ve not read my blog before (or you’re not one of my family and friends… hi Michelle), let me share with you why I wanted to lose weight.
I’ve always felt like the ‘fat’ one and over the years my ‘obese’ (according to the NHS BMI charts) weight levels started to get me down. I would cry a lot about my body image and I would feel guilty eating (be it healthy or not). So, I joined Weight Watchers (now called WW) after many years of yo yo dieting. It was the first slimming group I’ve ever been too and the only time I successfully lost weight week after week. Not just that, but it encouraged me to exercise and learn how to cook healthily from scratch. (This is not a WW advert but the way, just what happened to me). A little while after I joined WW I got engaged and my motivation to get to my ‘goal weight’ went through the roof. Fast forward two years, I lost 50lbs, got to my goal weight, dropped 5 sizes and felt amazing.
Then I went on honeymoon and gained a lot of weight in just two weeks – almost a stone if memory serves me right. I was disappointed and disgusted with myself. In hindsight I still looked slim and could fit into my smaller dress size, but I wasn’t happy. Months went by and I maintained the new higher weight and came to terms with it. I then fell pregnant with my first child and gained five stone.
Having a baby and that extra weight completely threw me. Not only was I learning how to be a mum, but those old feelings of hating the body I was in came rushing back with great force. I’m very aware as I write this that way worse things could happen. I just had a precious baby (and my daughter is everything), but my body felt so alien and simply disgusting. Which is really harsh considering it (my body) just grew a human being and managed to push it out of another one!
A negative start to the year
It’s been three years since then and I did reach my ‘goal weight’ once more, but that was in 2017; and so my 2018 started in a less than positive way. I was heavier than I was in 2017 and feeling incredible down about that fact. In hindsight, (again) it really was only a few pounds but because I beat myself about it so much, I ended up comfort/overeating and the weight crept up towards the end of 2017.
In 2017 I had also run 10k in under hour in a fun run, and whilst I’m incredibly proud of that I hadn’t realised just how much of my year had been focused on training for the run. Without a major event to work towards, and with the change in weather, I was lacking enthusiasm to get out and work out.
Body positivity
I started reading more about body positivity and felt that I needed to change my mindset in 2018. It wasn’t healthy for me to be so transfixed on a number on the scales and having that fun run to work towards made me realise that it’s the getting fit and healthy that really inspires me. If I aim for that, then any excess weight (fat) will in turn come off. I absolutely loved reading Megan Jaynee Crabbe’s Body Positive Power and it had a way bigger impact on me than I could ever imagined. I would hugely recommend this book if you are constantly beating yourself about your body.
New learnings
My thinking started to change and I decided that I wanted to learn the facts about good nutrition and exercising healthily. This is something that, in my view, WW has always encouraged but I wanted to further my understanding and seek out more sources of information – which I’ve been doing and I have enjoyed. I’ve also seeked advice from Personal Trainers and have learnt a lot about the importance of resistance training, and protein – to name just a few things.
Wrap it up
In a nutshell, I’ve been re-educating myself this year and working hard to question my attitude towards food, exercise and body image. It’s been challenging in places but I feel like (without being super cringey) I’ve grown a lot and have made some good progress in cementing healthy habits and a healthier outlook.
Give me the facts, how much do you weigh?
I’m not going to tell you that, although I’ve had some fun featuring in various WW articles and you will probably find the answer if you Google it! I will say that I’m 12lbs away from my ‘goal weight’ and feeling a lot slimmer and toned than I did at the start of the year (despite weighing a little more). I’m also feeling less bothered by that number on the scales and have enjoyed working on my muscles! Yeah I said it, if you happen to be in my house after I’ve been to the gym it’s common to see me flexing my new muscles to anyone willing to inspect them – normally my 3-year-old.
Binge eating
Plus, one of the biggest changes and something I’m most proud off is the decrease in binge eating episodes, which used to be a common occurrence. It was usually set off by bad news or having an indulgent weekend and then feeling guilty about it come Monday. Instead, I’m enjoying those occasions where I may eat and drink a little more but not letting then send me into a downward spiral of unhealthy habits.
The end
So, good luck to you all if you are trying to improve your health (be it physical or mental) and if you managed to read the majority of this post, then well done to you because I really did go on a bit!
Chloe xx
