It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted anything here and I feel I should explain a little bit about why that is.
Over the last year or so I’ve been focussing on my feature writing, mental health and raising two small humans. With all of that combined, my dear blog has taken a back seat. Plus, I must admit that I started to find it harder and harder to write about the intricacies of my weight loss journey – which was the original purpose of this blog.
Overtime I discovered that my own mental health battles and past traumas played a huge part in my relationship with food and it no longer felt appropriate to share my weigh-day results; knowing that bigger issues were at play. I also started to wonder whether my weight-loss writing was fuelling diet culture and having a negative impact on those who visited my blog for ‘weight-loss inspiration’.
While eating well and keeping fit are still priorities for me, I wish to keep those details more private for the time being.
It’s for all these reasons that I’ve created a new home for my feature writing which may in the future play host to a new blog, discussing mental health, trauma, current affairs, parenting and my experiences as a mixed-race woman in Britain.
My new website is chloelovell.co.uk, where you can also find some photos of me trying to look professional!
Thank you all so much for reading Treats and Treadmills over the years and for your support. It means so much to me.
I grew up with a very negative voice telling me I couldn’t achieve anything, and everything was too scary to even attempt. That voice has haunted me for a long time. I fight it best I can, but sometimes (and less frequently nowadays) I succumb to it. The voice tells me I’m stupid for chasing my dreams and I should be embarrassed by every part of my being. On other days I tap into the positive voice that lives there somewhere and a voice I’m trying to nurture and listen to more. Her voice tells me I’m invincible and I’ve overcome so much, so why not keep going and seeing what I can achieve next.
Those voices play a huge part in every area of my life, from writing a WhatsApp message, to dressing, to applying for a job. The devil and angel sitting closely together performing a risk analysis of what lies ahead, what will people think, what have I not considered that I will need to watch out for.
During the first lockdown of 2020 those two voices had a lot to say. One left me locked away in my room crying for hours, the other encouraged me to apply for a mentorship with Cosmo. To my complete shock, surprise and absolute delight I won a place to be mentored by the Cosmo UK features team. Since then I’ve had features published by Cosmo, Black Ballad, Women’s Health and Grazia/The Juggle. In this moment, I am living my wildest dreams and I did not think it could get any better, until it did.
I was nominated for The Freelance Writing Awards. I have my suspicions regarding the person who nominated me, and all I can say is that they are an absolute writing legend! They are incredible and I have been a fan of their work for so long. This nomination was the pat on the back, the well done, the hug, the congratulations and the validation I didn’t realise I longed for, after nervously chasing a dream I was afraid would turn into nightmare.
I didn’t make the shortlist for the awards, but I was told I made the longlist! I had fun hoping and the nomination itself still has me on a high. The feedback I received during the process was equally as beautiful and touching as the nomination itself. Here I was reading the most flattering words about my writing from the best in the business, from phenomenal writers and editors who saw something in my work and (most reassuring to me) didn’t laugh at was in front of them; didn’t think it was bizarre to see my entry amongst the hundreds of other talented writers.
In this moment I feel so proud, happy and content; and I wanted to put that into writing.
If my daughters ever spot these pages, I want you to know that I will always be most proud of you and I will always support your dreams – whatever they may be. I hope I fill you so much confidence and support that you will never question your abilities to be amazing, because you are already amazing and you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.
Shout out to my husband and besties (you know who you are) for always being the external positive voice I need to hear when I start doubting myself. Thank you for all your patience and thank you for believing in me. I love you all.
I’m delighted to share that I have recently written features for two publications I absolutely adore – Women’s Health and Grazia. Thank you to the editors and team for giving me the opportunity to write about topics close to my heart. See below for the links and be sure to keep an eye on my new linkt.ree/ChloeLovell for all my latest freelance work.
To all of my new blog readers and social media followers, I wanted to (re-)introduce myself to you and share 10 things you may not know about me!
1. My blog used to be called Diet Mum Feed and focussed primarily on my weekly weight loss results and losing post-baby weight gain. As my ‘weight loss journey’ and freelance work has evolved, I tend to post less about my day-to-day food intake and weekly scale number.
2. Linking to the above, I’ve come to realise just how important and integral mental health is to wellbeing, which is why in recent years you can find more posts on my blog and social media pages relating to mental health matters.
3. I’m a freelance writer and I’ve recently had several features published for Cosmo and Black Ballad.
4. I have flat feet. No arches. I’m quite envious of those with a good foot sole!
5. I asked my husband to describe me in three words for this post, after a joke set of words (one day I’ll share what those were) and then a lot of awkwardness (he’s not one to put on the spot when it comes to feelings) he said… kind, upfront and vivacious (I had to look up what this last word meant).
6. I lost 6 stone with the 1:1 Diet by the Cambridge Weight Plan and I will be forever thankful to my wonderful consultant Vicki who has and continues to help me put healthy eating habits into practice.
7. This is a weird one but I’m going to put it out there. I’m very self-conscious about my voice and how I sound (for many different reasons), which is very annoying when you actually like talking a lot!
8. Putting clean clothes away after they’ve been washed is a chore I just can’t stand. I of course love clean, fresh clothes, but the folding and putting them away is just so boring!
9. I’m most proud of my beautiful children and amazing husband.
10. Saving the best bit till last… I’ve recently joined the team at Orbit as Content and Press Advisor! I’m honoured to be working with such an amazing group of women, who have created an incredible support platform for mums to connect with one another. I will continue in my freelance work alongside this role and you can expect to see some more updates and posts on all things Orbit very soon.
[Image description: One of my flat feet can be seen clearly next to my youngest daughter who is wearing bright pink leggings. Bonus fact – today was the first time I ‘successfully’ wore ‘mom’ jeans after buying many pairs previously which were just too mumsy!
In between freelance writing, raising little people and now home schooling, I’ve been busy studying for a diploma in Nutrition and Weight Management. I started the Association for Nutrition (AfN) certified course 3 years ago and I’m over the moon to share that I passed!
Expect to see new content soon on the topics I covered and on the areas I found the most enlightening! Until then, here are a few posts I wrote while studying on what makes a healthy diet, and pregnancy superfoods.
It’s almost been 5 years since I started this little blog! I really can’t believe it’s been that long already and I’m so thankful to all the people who read my posts regularly and now follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
In celebration of all the content I’ve created since launching Treats and Treadmills (originally called Diet Mum Feed), I’d like to share with you some of my favourite and most memorable blog posts.
I hope you enjoy browsing through the posts I’ve written over the years, and as 2020 comes to a close I would like to say thank you for visiting my blog and for your continued support.
I have started to write so many posts to share about my experience as a black/mixed race woman and as a black /mixed race mother to light skinned children; but for me at this time the topic of race and racism is so huge I don’t know where to begin.
Privately, I’ve had a lot of discussions on the topic, many of which have been with white friends wanting to understand more about my experience with racism. While I don’t want that to stop and I think it’s hugely positive, I am both emotionally and mentally drained.
Sadly, I had until recently come to terms with racism in the UK. It’s part of day-to-day life; from outright violent to many micro-aggressions* demonstrating a deep belief that, as a black woman, I am inferior. I can’t bring myself to write a detailed list of every occasion I’ve experienced racism, it is too long and sends me into a rage; but without you hearing some of what I’ve experienced, I guess it may be hard for some people reading to really know what I’m talking about. So let me share a little bit… I’ve been called the n word multiple times; spat on; told I was being too aggressive and threatening when simply speaking; assumed I was the nanny of my light skinned children; questioned about where I live because the road I mentioned was surely too nice for a black person to live on… Get the picture? I commend those who have articulately relived and retold their experiences, because it is not easy and I for one do not have it in me to share in any more detail.
Until recently I found a way to cope with those experiences, to go on and to fit in best I can. Choosing when and how I reveal my blackness. Perfecting my polite, posh voice so that I wouldn’t be seen as ‘intimidating’, ‘threatening’ or ‘angry’. Picking my battles if confronted with racist behaviour. However, since the deserving uproar surrounding George Floyd’s death and many other unlawful and racists deaths of African Americans I no longer want to be submissive to racism. The recent coverage of these racist deaths and worldwide protests have unearthed a lot of my own painful feelings and memories around racism. What I’m feeling now, is a deep sadness, anger and an embarrassment of ever backing down. Why should I?
For a minute I feel hopeful I may see profound change in my lifetime, but then I come across a post with the hashtag #alllivesmatter*; or as my private discussions continue with a ‘close’ white friend – they demonstrate zero empathy or acknowledgement of white privilege*. And worse still no awareness of their own white privilege, and I quickly remember why I chose to pick my battles, blend in and move on.
I have many white friends and family, and I’ve been feeling a huge pressure to help educate them on my black experience and racism in the UK. In many ways I want to and I’m happy to play my part, but I can’t do all the work. When a white friend and/or acquaintance appears interested in my view but then won’t look at themselves, makes an insensitive joke demonstrating their white privilege right in the middle of talking about racism, or reveals no intention to educate themselves further on this issue, it’s infuriating. I understand it’s a hard process to self reflect and evaluate, but it’s an even harder process to experience racism and live with it.
I simply wanted to share that I currently feel sad, angry, ashamed and drained.
Micro-aggressions, White Privilege and the problem with ‘All Lives Matter’.
Micro- aggressions. Racism is so deep rooted, you may not even realise that you hold racist beliefs. Ever cross the road on purpose if you see a black person walking towards you? If yes, why? Ever think three black boys together must be in a gang? If yes, why? If you saw a black man and a white man sitting next to each other and someone else told you one of them was a doctor and the other a criminal – who would you think is the doctor?
#blacklivesmatter. This is hashtag to use and share if you really want to be actively anti-racist, and in doing so of course this does not mean other lives don’t matter; but it is black lives being lost due to racism and police brutality. It goes without saying that all lives matter. Saying all lives matter in this context is insulting and completely missing the point.
White privilege. If you’re unsure what this means, please read the following article and here’s a little quote from it.
“White privilege in this situation is being able to move into a “nice” neighborhood and be accepted not harassed.”
I haven’t posted anything for such a long time, and just as I was about to update my blog, news of Covid-19 seem to become more prominent and more scary. At a time of such worry and angst, it seemed so irrelevant to share a post about what I’ve been eating the last few months and how cute my new baby is. That said, my newsfeed is heavily dominated by Coronavirus updates and so perhaps it is time for something light-hearted.
I had a baby!
I felt like I was pregnant for years! In October 2019 my second baby girl finally arrived. They often say your second pregnancy and birth is much easier, but in my case that couldn’t be more wrong. I was more sick throughout my second pregnancy and I ended up needing an emergency c-section after several complications.
Whoever came up with the phrase “too posh to push” needs a hiding; recovering from the c-section has been pretty hard going – physically and emotionally. But this is meant to be a light-hearted post and so we’ll move on, and I’m happy to share I’m doing much better these days in terms of recovery and my baby girl is healthy and well.
Feeling body positive, until…
If you’re a friend of mine and/or have read my posts in the past then you’ll know I love food and I’m pretty good at putting on weight. When I became pregnant last year, I was determined to keep fit and not gain as much as I did the first time round. That didn’t go to plan, and I’ve put on a lot of weight! However, this time round and after my latest birth experience, losing weight didn’t seem important. I felt glad to be alive and that my baby was too. Having read more about body positivity, I was feeling confident in myself to not give a damn about my weight and to just let my body be and heal.
However, so many people commented on my size, asked when I planned to lose weight, asked what I was eating, told me how I should eat, asked when was I going to start exercising – all when I could barely walk. I always thought that my desire to lose weight and be slim came from me, but I never realised how bombarded I had been from people close to me about my body image. The same people who say, “don’t worry about it, be confident with who you are” are the same people telling me to change.
Although I tried to fight it, that body positive feeling I had has been squished and I have succumbed to dieting (in a healthy way). Not just because of the comments though. Truth is, being lighter feels better for my body type and means I can keep up with two children.
Home schooling during Covid-19 lockdown
My oldest daughter is hilarious and in many ways it’s lovely spending more time with her, but wtf! I’m no teacher and home schooling for the unforeseeable future is messed up. Luckily her teachers have been amazing and have sent me loads of activities and resources, but my days now are crazy busy and tiring.
Something actually light-hearted
Here’s a cute picture of some random cat because my post wasn’t particular light-hearted like I promised, but it was filled with some nonsense! I hope you enjoyed it in some way. 😘
I’m currently pregnant with my second child and there’s one huge similarity between both my pregnancies – morning sickness. Here are my top tips for keeping it together when your baby bump makes you want to puke, cry and eat all at once!
To read my full post on morning sickness visit Emma’s Diary.
